so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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