I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
