If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
