My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
