Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
