Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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