and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
