i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
