Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
