Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
