You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
