whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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