you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He shit in the fireplace
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
