Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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