I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
