Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
