at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
the raccoons are back...
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