You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
