You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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