I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
