school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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