Swine flu. Run for my life!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
