I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
