You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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