I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My liver just had a heart attack.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
