She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
