I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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