My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
