i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The power of my boobs compel you
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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