the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
