Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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