bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
