Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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