i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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