Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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