bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
