She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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