Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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