i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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