it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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