can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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