What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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