I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
