Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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