We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
