it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
