Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
