I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
