5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
