I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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