her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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