you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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